I find Sylvia Plath the most identifying with me as a person. As a young child, I did not lose my parents like Sylvia Plath but both my parents had to go out to work from daytime to late in the night. Therefore I had to live with my aunt from kindergarten till second grade in elementary; not able to receive love and care as much as I wanted to.
As Sylvia Plath experiences all kinds of tragedy during her childhood, she loses any kind of faith or belief about God. Once again, I, too, lost my paternal grandfather when I was five years old and one of my best friend in elementary was going through a very hard time because of he had diabetes. I did not know this friend had diabetes until the last day of second grade, the day when I had to move to China. So not even able to ask, “Are you okay?” for the last moment, I had to leave this friend alone. I felt guilty as a child which made me to wonder about existence about God.
During my end of sophomore year, I really had to struggle with myself academically and with my family. As my parents are Koreans and have the Korean culture background of living strong and to the fullest, they had high expectations on me. However, my grade continuously dropped from the beginning of the year to the end of the year. My parents who were very disappointed in me gave pressure which was unbearable for me; leading me to leave the house. At this moment, I strongly believed that there is no such thing as “love” in this world and no “God” exists. From this point, I became little pessimistic about the world and started to not expect much from others; even the people who are very close to me; similar to Plath.
댓글 3개:
Heewon, you have been so honest and open in this post. Thank you. Even though you have experienced such crushing experiences, I hope you will expect the best from people. We make ourselves vulnerable when we do that, but we also open ourselves up to experiencing great beauty and truth. ;)
Heewon, your experiences are really similar to mine which is kind of weird. I guess I wasn't the only one struggling through the past 2-3 years. I think you made a really good connection with Sylvia Plath based on her biography. Anyways, I'm glad that you found closure out of all this.
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